How I Live Now
by AustralianStarkid
Summary: An RPF about Darren and Lauren *Crisspez Story*, also contains other ships such as Breredith and Jomie! My first fanfic so please be kind. *Disclaimer* - I do not own Starkid (dangflabbit)
1. An Unexpected Arrival

**Hi everyone, this is my first ever fanfiction so please be kind. Just so you know, I have a general story outline however, it can be modified. The next few chapters are already written and ready to go so if this story has a positive response, I will post them pretty quickly. It may be fluffy to begin with, but as I become more comfortable with doing this, more action will be seen in the next few chapters. Please review, and I really don't care if it's negative because I really need advice. Thanks so much for reading and well I hope to be reading some good reviews(fingers crossed). Ok well happy reading! (P.s I will make chapters progressively longer) **

**Yours Truly, **

**An Australian Starkid **

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Chapter 1: Unexpected Arrival

"Look, I will see you shortly, can't this wait until later?" Lauren glanced nervously at her watch then flicking her eyes back up at her concerned looking boyfriend in the car.

"But Lauren…" He started

"Seriously, I have to go or I'm going to be late, and I promised Meredith I would come to see this one." Lauren quickly stated whilst checking that her straightened brown hair was fixed perfectly into the high pony tail she wore so well. "I skipped her other two performances because you said you complained that you weren't spending enough 'quality' time with me. I really can't do it again Michael!" Lauren slide out of the car in one quick movement until he grabbed hold of her wrist.

"I just don't feel comfortable with you being around those other guys…"

Lauren interrupted "They're my friends Mike! I have known them since my first year in college." She was beginning to get irritated now. "Look", she started, "We can talk about this later, but frankly I think you just need to get over it. I'm not going to stop hanging out with them just because you deem it 'inappropriate'! They're my best friends!"

"Well, that Darren seems like a bit of a sleaze, and he looks at you funny when we are together…"

"He is like a big brother to me; he is just being his usual overprotective self, he doesn't want to see me get hurt. Besides, he is in LA; it will just be me, Joey, Joe Walker, Jaime and probably Brian. Look, I don't want to be late Mike so we will discuss this later. Love you, bye." Mike opened his mouth to object, but Lauren quickly shut the car door before he could talk.

Lauren bounded towards the backstage door.

"Name please." A tall dark man grunted at her.

'_He's obviously over enthused about his job' _Lauren thought. "Lauren. Lauren Lopez, I should be down as a guest of Meredith Stepien's."

He opened the door and she quickly fled past him down the hall and into the room in which Meredith was doing her final prep.

Lauren opened the door slightly in fear of not being in the right place, only to be bombarded by the squeals of Jaime and Meredith.

"I thought you were going to skip out on us again!" Meredith said shocked. "Mind you, 'I'm very glad you came. Wow you look stunning!" She examined Laurens simple white sleeveless shirt that tucked into her high waisted denim shorts. Lauren always managed to make simple clothes seem complexly beautiful.

Lauren hugged her tight. "I wouldn't miss it for the world Merediddy" She pulled back and smiled at her. "Where is everyone? I thought Joey, Joe and Brian were coming?" as Brian's name was mentioned Meredith's face flushed bright red. Lauren winked at Jaime who stifled a small giggle.

"Well they are," Meredith continued as though nothing had happened, "it's just well, I was only allowed two people backstage and of course I needed Jaime to help with some final prep and to be honest, I seriously thought Mike wasn't going to let you out again…" Meredith trailed off looking slightly sheepishly at Lauren as if she had offended her.

"Mere, don't be silly, I won't let any guy ruin my plans!" she forced out a fake laugh. The conversation with Michael actually left her quite upset. He had been acting really different the past few weeks. He was becoming pushy and arrogant, and tonight he even seemed jealous. It was beginning to become irritating. But it wasn't the time or the place to start up a conversation about Mike with the girls. She smiled at the two girls that looked slightly concerned to help confirm that everything was fine.

A man tapped on the door and all three girls turned to look towards the figure. It was Diego the stage manager.

"You're on in ten Meredith" he announced before quickly fleeing the room.

"You ready to laugh your little denim shorts off?" Meredith winked at them. "Go on you two," she said glancing from Jaime to Lauren, "you had better get into the audience"

Jaime and Lauren were about to wish her luck when a second knock echoed through the door.

"Yes, yes, we know! She's coming ok!" Lauren said as she spun around only, instead of staring at Diego as expected, she locked her brown eyes onto a pair of cheeky hazel ones she knew only too well. A head of thick dark curls and a wide cheeky grin emerged from the hall. Lauren stood glued to her spot, her jaw gaping open in shock. She looked him up and down to confirm he was actually standing there and not just an illusion of her imagination.

"Did someone say Harry Potter?"

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**How was that? Did I do ok? Well, before you leave, please leave a review. Thanks guys! **

**Signing off! Love you all! **


	2. And then there were two

**Hi Everyone! Can I just say...well Wow! Thank you all so so so so so so much! I seriously didn't expect to have any reviews or likes or follows let alone in less than 24 hours from original producton. Yet here you are:**

**Drarrylicious - Your response seriously made me tear up. Thank you so much! You have no idea how much it means to me. **

**SillyStarkid - Thanks so much! I really hope you enjoy the rest of the story! **

**To everyone who followed or liked the first chapter. Your support means the world to me! Thank you all! **

**This next chapter isn't written to the best of my ability with some of the sentence structure being a bi off however, I re-read it over and over but couldn't find a way to fix the things I wanted so I left it as is. I hope it is clear and understandable. *Note: contains reference of violence at the end* **

**Yours Truly, **

**An Australian Starkid (Love you all) **

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Chapter 2: And then there were two.

Lauren blinked a couple of times before a wide grin broke out over her face. She ran up to Darren and flew through the air, wrapping her legs around his waist engulfing him in one of her tiny bear hugs. Darren staggered back slightly on impact but quickly hugged her tight into his chest laughing at her reaction to his arrival.

"Hey there Lolo" he whispered into her ear as he continued to hold her tight.

"DareBear, what on Earth are you doing here? I thought you were filming for another 2 months before you could visit?" She stared into his deep hazel eyes with a broad smile plastered to her face.

Darren opened his mouth to respond when a cough startled them from their thoughts. They turned to see Meredith and Jaime standing there, hands on their hips with smirks etched to their faces.

"Now that you two love birds have reunited, I really have to get onto that stage!" Meredith chuckled wickedly behind them. They wished her luck again and ran through the halls to meet up with the others in the audience. All the guys greeted Darren cheerfully however, Lauren noticed they didn't seem surprised to see him at all. Lauren turned to Jaime, realising that she also remained calm when Darren came bursting into the dressing room.

"You knew, didn't you Jai?" Lauren queried.

"Knew what?" she smirked

"You knew about Darren?"

"Course I did Lo," She chuckled. "We have known for weeks." Lauren pouted at her, acting hurt.

"Jai! Why didn't you tell me!" Lauren whined.

"Cause your reaction was to die for; I couldn't take that away from Dare." Jaime winked at her slyly. Lauren laughed at her best friends' explanation and pulled her forward towards the guys. Lauren's eyes darted around the group and locked on Joey, who was staring at Jaime, lost in the moment. Joey noticed Lauren giggling at him and fleeted his eyes away for a quick second blushing furiously.

"Well, Joey has been staring at you since the moment we entered this room" Lauren smirked at a now embarrassed red faced Jaime. "So go on!"

Lauren gave Jaime a quick playful shove in Joey's direction and then plopped herself on a stool next to Darren. Immediately, she began hyperactively to babble away at Darren about what was happening in Chicago. It was like she was on rapid-fire, asking question after question about his life and inserting details about herself where necessary.

Darren looked Lauren up and down; he just couldn't get over how breath takingly beautiful she was. Her hair fell perfectly down her back even when tied up in her classic high ponytail. She had just the right amount of make-up on, not that she needed any to still look stunning. Her big dark brown eyes were filled with excitement. She was so small and delicate, yet so tough at the same time. She was the perfect combination of witty and cute.

"Darren!" Lauren said. Darren shook his head, startling out of his daydream.

"Whoa, sorry, what's up?" Darren said, pushing his previous thoughts to the back of his mind. _'She has a boyfriend Darren, a jerk of a boyfriend, but you can't stuff that up for her. She is like a sister to you. Remember that. Not to mention, if all goes well, you will have your own girlfriend by the end of the week. Don't stuff this up.'_

"I said, how long are here for?" Darren stared at the floor guiltily. He had hoped he could have waited a few more hours before telling her.

"Lo, I am only in for the night. I was lucky even to get tonight off, seriously, it's hectic at the moment back at home." He looked back up at Lauren, but that just made him feel worse, her face had completely dropped. All the excitement that had filled her eyes a minute ago had completely vanished. Her big brown eyes started to tear up.

"Lo, hey Lauren, please, I am sorry. Can we please just try and enjoy the show?" Darren lifted her chin with his finger. "Or, will I have to tickle you!" Lauren let out a small smile. He hated to see her that sad. He embraced her in a tight hug before noticing that Meredith had made her way onto the stage.

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"Meredith, that was totally awesome!" Lauren said whilst she embraced Meredith in a big hug.

"Thanks guys for coming! Really, it means a lot." Meredith grinned.

"Anything for you Mere" Brian said causing Meredith to turn scarlet.

"Well I better hit the sack, early start tomorrow. Congratulations again Mere" Jaime said waving goodbye.

"Yes! I will…um… walk you to your car!" Joey said a little too quickly. Lauren grinned wickedly over at Meredith who was attempting to stifle giggles but failing miserably.

"I have to go pick up Julia" JoWalk stated. "She got back in from Orlando at about 9 and I said I would pick her up at half past. I will see you guys tomorrow"

"Bye Joe" said the remaining members of Starkid.

"Erghhh! Just hurry up and date already!" Brian stated when Joe had turned the corner.

Meredith, Lauren and Darren burst into laughter.

"Well, Brian's driving me home, and it's getting late so…"

"Yeah, well we will see you tomorrow Mere" Lauren said pulling her in for a hug. "Oh, and have fun Mere" she whispered wickedly giving her an over exaggerated wink.

"Shut up Lauren" she said laughing.

And then there were two.

"You obviously didn't tell them you were leaving in the morning then, did you?" Darren looked sheepishly at the floor.

"I…I didn't think of it to be honest…" Lauren looked at Darren.

"Well, Mike said he would pick me up in about 10 minutes…what?" Lauren questioned. Darren's fists clenched as soon as Mike's name was mentioned.

"It's….it's nothing Lo'. It's just…." Darren looked up at Lauren who encouraged him to continue. "I don't trust him Lauren; he is crude, jealous and manipulative! And he sure as hell doesn't deserve you!" Darren said louder than he meant to. Lauren looked taken aback. She knew Darren had never been fond of him, but she never knew how mad he made him. Darren sighed. "Look, I'm sorry; it's not my place to say anything. You're like a little sister to me Lo, I love you… I don't want him to hurt you." Lauren gently placed her tiny hand onto his arm.

"I understand. Really Darren, it is sweet you care about me that much. But don't worry, ok? I'm tough, I can handle it." Darren looked into her eyes, there was obviously something bothering her, but she wouldn't tell him even if he asked. All he could do was make sure he did everything in his power to be there and protect her. Mind you, that was getting more and more difficult these days, especially whilst he was living so far away.

"Lo, seriously, you mean the world to me…" He quickly pulled her into a tight hug, planting a kiss on the top of her head. Then for a while, they just stood there, embracing each other, communicating through body language. And that's when they heard the yell of an angry man, followed by a fist to flesh and the scream of a tiny scared Lauren.

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**Ahh a little bit of a cliff hanger however, not to fear, if responses are still going well, the next chapter will be uploaded within 24 hours! Seriously, thank you all! **

**Signing off xx Love you!**


	3. Here and Now Pt 1

**Heya! Well I am tickled pink at these reviews! Thank you all so much! Seriously, your support is overwhelming! It is a little over 24 hours since I uploaded the last chapter and I know I said I would upload a chapter every 24 hours but my sister came home for a day! (Sorry, don't give up on me :P) **

**ISaidNoToStatusQuo - Ahhhh I am so happy that you are enjoying the story! Keep reading and reviewing and I hope I don't let you down**

**Twighlight Horse Luver - Oh Dear, Final Week huh? Don't worry, been there, did that (2 weeks ago - Weird Aussie holidays) Don't give up! and Good luck **

** - Glad your enjoying it! Thanks so much! I hope I continue to live up to expectation! :) **

**Drarrylicious - Thank you Sooooo much for you continual support, it seriously means the world to me! **

**Well this next chapter is split into two part and is therefore a bit shorter! Note - Contains swears and violence! (The start of the chapter is not at the same time as the end of the chapter, read pt 2 later to see what I mean)**

**Love you all!**

**Yours truly, **

**An Australian Starkid **

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Chapter 3: Here and Now Pt 1.

It was three in the morning and Darren was wondering how he ended up carrying a tiny passed out Lauren back to her apartment. A light sleet like rain was beginning to fall and the night had taken a turn for the worst. _'I should have never come to visit' _Darren thought _'If I hadn't come, none of this would have happened' _His vision had clouded in his left eye and it felt as if his eye was turning into a large growth as it had swollen to the size of a golf ball. _'Oh Lo', I am so sorry' _Darren thought looking up into the stars.

5 hours earlier

Darren was so content, breathing in Lauren's smell, kissing the top of her tiny head that barely reached his chin, playing with the few strands of hair that loosely fell down her back. It was all so…perfect. Well, it was so perfect. As soon as it began, it ended.

"Hey! Dickhead! Get away from my girl!" Darren's left eye was met with and almighty fist sending him flying sideways. Lauren screamed in shock stumbling backward.

"Shit." Darren exclaimed when he came to his senses. "Wait," his dizziness still clouding his vision slightly. "Lauren….LAUREN!" Darren yelled coming to his senses.

"Mike, get off me!" Lauren was screaming. "Ouch, Mike you're really scaring me, please, let go of my wrists." Both of Michael's hands were locked so firmly around her arms that her hands quickly became purple and discoloured from lack of blood flow.

"No, you're a stinking, lying, cheating bitch Lauren! How dare you!" Mike spat at her, glaring into her eyes still with her wrists caught firmly in his grasp.

"Mike, please, Mike, I didn't do anything with him, please Mike…" Lauren begged, tears beginning to stream down her face. "Please." She sounded genuinely scared. Darren heard the desperation in her voice and stood up as quick as he could, even when a new wave of dizziness hit him.

"Get your hands off her!" Darren yelled in the general direction of where he could hear the arguing.

"You're a dirty lying whore Lauren Lopez! You said, you said he wasn't going to be here tonight, didn't you, you bitch. There probably wasn't even a show tonight was there! You have been cheating on me you low down rotten whore!" Mike screamed at Lauren's face, his nose just centimetres from hers.

"I wasn't I promise. Please Mike, you're really hurting me." Bruises had already begun to form a purple black bracelet around her delicate wrists. Darren could hear Lauren struggling against Mike. He was so much stronger than her and at least a foot taller. Darren became scared, internally begging for the nausea and dizziness to cease.

"Lauren! Mike leave her alone you shithead!" Darren stumbled his way towards them but Mike released one hand from Lauren and sent another punch flying at Darren. Darren stumbled out of the way just in time but landed hands first on the cold gravelly floor of the car park.

"Get out of my way bitch!" Mike yelled at Lauren pushing her roughly to the ground so he could pursue a completely disorientated Darren. Lauren was balling her eyes out, tears streamed thickly down her face.

"Please Mike! Just leave Darren alone! He didn't do anything! Please we're just friends!" Lauren was yelling.

"Shut up! Stop lying to me!" said Mike starting towards her again raising his hand above his head. Darren immediately noticed the danger Lauren was in and a new wave of adrenaline hit him. He was so big and Lauren was so fragile and delicate. Darren ran full speed into Michael, tackling him and knocking him into the sidewalk. Darren lifted him up roughly by the collar and pinned him against the wall leaving all sense of dizziness behind.

"You…Little…Shit…Don't…You…Ever…Touch…Her…Again!" Darren yelled at Mike sending blow after blow into his gut.

"Darren….stop…Please…" Lauren whimpered. Darren pulled up his next punch just before impact and turned to look at Lauren who had started towards him. Tears were silently streaming down her face. Darren turned to look back at his unconscious victim and sighed deeply, letting let Mike crumple to the ground. He ran over to Lauren pulling her into a tight hug.

"I am so sorry Lo'. I am so, so sorry" Darren held her tight. Her whole tiny body was shaking in his arms. Lauren let the harsh salty tears roll down her cheeks. He looked into her sad brown eyes full of fear and regret. "Come on Lauren, It's time for you to go home." He put his hand around her shoulders and slowly they walked off toward her apartment.

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**I feed on reviews om nom nom! Thanks for reading! tell me what you think! (good luck to anyone still in final exams... exams suck.) **

**Signing Off - weeeeewww summer time **


	4. Here and Now Pt 2

**Hi there, **

**I'm a little late to upload again! Busy busy day, however, hopefully it was worth the wait! Well, this chapter is slightly longer due to insomnia being a bitch! ahh well, I enjoyed writing it anyways. There maybe a little bit of feels, well when I read it through I had some feels anyways so yeah :) Well once again, your support has been so amazing! Seriously, this is my escape at the moment and you guys are just being so kind. You have no idea how happy your reviews are making me! So thank you!**

**Drarrylicious - Ahhh your so encouraging! Thank you for all your support and kind words. I seriously would have never done this without your awesome advice and just general awesomness! Thank you! Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**ISaidNoToStatusQuo- Yayeh! Summer over here! Not to worry, you're not missing out on anything exciting due to the fact we have the two worst types of weather! It is hot/humid and raining all at the same time! I am so glad you're enjoying the story! Thanks for your support!**

**Well, enjoy! Be warned, we got some feels, we got many swears and a little bit of other sorts :) Don't forget to review! **

**Yours Truly, **

**An Australian Starkid!**

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Chapter 4: Here and Now Pt 2

Lauren didn't look at Darren until they arrived at her apartment. The tension was too unbearable for Darren as he tried to fill the empty silence with questions posed towards Lauren, but instead she remained gazing off into nowhere in particular. It wasn't long before Darren gave up and after a lengthened sigh; he ended up walking at her pace beside her. Lauren was a wreck. Her hair was out, messed from the fight, grazing's covered her legs and arms. Darren constantly glanced toward her wrists that showed the markings of someone who had grabbed a little too tightly. His breath caught when he remembered back to the petrified screams that escaped Lauren lips when Mike gave her a reason to be scared. _'How dare he?' _Darren thought anger bubbling and building inside of him. He was disgusted. _'He doesn't deserve her; she is so much more than him. I should have killed him when I had the chance, before he did any real damage, before he really knew her, that night I met him…'_ Darren glanced back up at Lo' who now had her arms wrapped around herself and was shivering furiously. Darren's eyes began to cloud with tears.

"My poor Lo" He muttered to himself whilst removing his University of Michigan hoodie and pulling it over Lauren's head. Lauren barely reacted to the gesture, lost in her own thoughts.

After what seemed like forever, the pair reached her building. Lauren seemed to snap out of her daydream state and locked eyes with Darren. She stood there, staring intensely at him until she spoke.

"You were right, you know." Lauren said, allowing a tear to fall onto her cheek.

"What?"

"You were right about him." Her eyes rested upon the side walk.

"Hey, hey Lauren, Lo', Please Lo', look at me" He placed a finger under her chin and lifted it until she was looking into his eyes. "Lo', you are worth so much more than him. He doesn't deserve you. You're pretty, funny, adorable and possibly the sweetest person I have ever met. He isn't worth another thought. Come on sweetie, come on let's get you upstairs and cleaned up. It's been a big night." Lauren nodded slowly allowing Darren to slip his hand around her own tiny fingers. He led them up the stairs and into her apartment.

"Sit down Lo'," Darren instructed pointing towards the living area couch. He moved the coffee table forward, getting Lauren to place her little feet up. Lauren slipped off Darren's hoodie and placed it on the couch beside her. It had been a while since Darren had visited Chicago, yet he knew exactly where to find everything. After a few minutes he returned to a sore looking Lauren. He gave her a small encouraging smile but knew she must be in a fair bit of pain for her to be as silent as she was.

"Come here," he murmured, placing an ice pack on her wrists. Darren's heart stopped for a second. He hadn't realized how cut up her hands were. Dry blood had crusted to the heels of her palms along with several shards of glass that were poking through her skin. Lauren looked up at Darren; he had never been a person who could just deal with blood.

"It's not as bad as it looks, I promise. I just… when he… when I fell to the ground, there was some glass, that's all." She said quietly to Darren, who looked none relieved by this explanation.

"Well let's clean it up then." He said, swallowing down all sense of nausea which had originally taken a hold of him, knowing he needed to be brave for Lauren.

"Darren, I'm more concerned about your eye. Shit Darren, its swelling up." Darren smiled grimly, his black puffy eye sending pains through his face.

"Come on, you first, then me" He stated sitting down on the couch next to her, wiping a damp cloth over her sliced up palms.

"Ok, I'm fine now, really Darren, the glass is gone. Please, I feel fine." She said removing the ice-pack from her wrists and holding it above his eye. 'Now, it's going to sting, but in a while, it will feel better. I promise." She gingerly placed it on his eye and he took a quick sharp breath. "There we go baby, no problems" she giggled slightly. _'God' _Darren thought. How he missed her smile. It seemed like forever since he had seen it, yet in reality it was only just over an hour ago. He smiled broadly at her. _'Shit, she's beautiful'_.

"Pity you have to go in the morning Dare." Lauren said sadly looking at the floor again.

"I'm not going anywhere. Screw LA. You are all that matters. I will make up some excuse." A light blush settled in Lauren's cheeks. He looked into her eyes, her gorgeous brown eyes and was lost for a second. Lauren bit her lip cheekily and looked straight back into Darren's hazel irises. Darren reached forward, pushing a lock of hair that had escaped back behind her ear and lingered his hand there, moving it down her face and onto her cheek. Lauren slid the ice pack off Darren's eye, moving her hands onto his chest and in that same moment, their lips found each other, passionately begging at each other for entrance. Darren slid his hand from her cheek, up behind her head, deepening the kiss further. Lauren was not one to refuse. Discarding the icepack, she clenched her hands into fists, crumpling Darren's shirt. Never before had they kissed like this. Sure, they had kissed in Little White Lie, but that was a stage kiss, this felt like the first time, the first real time. Here and now, nothing could be better. Darren's heart rate increased rapidly. He moved his splayed hand down her back, slowly until he reached the bottom of her spine, wanting, needing to feel more of her. That's when Lauren stiffened up.

She pulled back, pushing Darren's chest with her two fists.

"Darren, Darren stop. I can't do this. I just can't."

"What's wrong babe?" Lauren tensed up further, leaning away from Darren

"Darren, no, don't call me babe, Mike and I…" Darren pulled back shocked.

"You and Mike what Lauren?" Darren asked furious.

"We are still together, despite everything, we are a couple…and couples work through these things." Darren stood up furious, pacing back and forth in front of the T.V.

"So your telling me, after everything that…that fuckwit did to you tonight… your still fucking going back to him! Shit Lauren." Darren said loudly as he started to pace even faster.

"Fucking shut up Darren!" Lauren said rising from her seat. "Just because you have never held down a relationship for more than a month definitely doesn't give you the right to dictate mine!" A light switched on in the hallway that led to the bedrooms.

"He is a shithead Lauren! He hurt you!"

"He was fighting for me!"

"He…" Darren drifted off.

"He what Darren?" She asked glaring at him fiercely.

"He…" Darren sighed deeply before continuing. "He cheated on you Lauren…" Darren's muttered guiltily in a barely audible tone; however it was loud enough for Lauren to understand perfectly.

"He… he…what?" Lauren whispered.

"I'm sorry Lo" Darren sighed.

"When?" was all Lauren managed to choke out before crumpling back into her seat, resting her face in her hands.

"The night after you got together, the night I met him…Lauren, I caught him with another girl." Lauren began to cry.

"I'm such an idiot, I trusted him…I trusted you" Darren walked over to Lauren.

"Hey, it's not your fault…" Darren started

"You're Goddamn right it isn't! It's yours!" Lauren stood quickly, "I trusted you and you didn't tell me! You're supposed to be my best friend! How could you?!" Lauren yelled tears streaming down her face again. _'That's too many times I have made her cry tonight' _Darren thought to himself as Lauren walked furiously toward him. "You're the shithead!" She screamed, shattering Darren's heart with every vicious word. Each scream was like a knife in his chest, refusing to kill him, instead only torturing him further into insanity. "How could you Darren?"

Lauren cried and screamed until she ran out of breath.

"Get out." was all she could manage. Darren looked at her, with pleading eyes. "I said, get out."

Darren didn't move. "I refuse to leave until you let me explain…"

"Fine." Lauren stated. Darren was relieved for a second until she continued. "If you won't leave, I will." Lauren ran from the apartment in nothing but her denim shorts and her white sleeveless top.

"Lauren!" Darren yelled. 'Please Lauren… Wait…" but she was gone.

"Shit Darren," A voice from the hallway leading to the bedrooms, made him jump.

"Fuck, Jaime… is that you?" _'Shit, I forgot Julia and Jaime live here.' _

"Yeah, I heard from about where the yelling started in case you were wondering…" Jaime admitted walking into the living area.

"Where's Julia, Jai?" Darren asked concerned looking behind Jaime and into the hall. A smile played on Jaime's lips.

"She never came home, after Joe picked her up…" Darren smirked.

"Well I'm glad someone had a good night then because I sure as fuck haven't…"

"Damn Darren, your eye…" Darren interrupted

"I think we have bigger issues Jaime."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"She's going to freeze out there Jai, it's October and she is wearing next to nothing for God knows what reason. She is angry, upset, and alone and I have no freaking idea where she could go this late at night." He looked up at Jaime who was rugged up in her pink thick pajamas and yawning sleepily. "I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to deal with this, it's all my fault…" He choked up allowing a tear to escape his eye.

"I screwed it up Jaime, I screwed everything up…"

"Well, why don't you start from the beginning? What the hell happened to your eye?"

It took Darren half an hour to explain everything, Jaime encouraging him whenever he became choked up.

"And that's the part you saw happen." Darren finished lamely. Jaime sighed deeply.

"Well, its midnight so there isn't much we can do. She left her phone here, I wouldn't just be surprised if she wasn't just taking a walk; she walks at night to clear her head. It's that or…"

"What Jaime? Where else might she go?" Darren questioned concerned.

"It's nothing; she just goes to the bar. It's just her way of cooling down. She drinks, and over drinks. She's such a lightweight, I think she forgets that sometimes." Darren relaxed slightly. "Look, I tell you what. If by 1 o'clock she hasn't turned up, we will go out and look. Just give her some time Dare, she's hurt, you did the wrong thing."

"I know Jaime. I know, I fucked up. She is everything to me, seriously. I…" Darren looked at the floor.

"You like her don't you…" Jaime questioned sympathetically.

"I don't know Jai, maybe? But, I have…well I have someone back in LA. I don't want to screw this up."

"What, Dare, are you dating someone?" Jaime asked shocked.

"It's complicated." Darren murmured.

"No, it's actually quite simple, did you just cheat with Lauren!" Jaime exclaimed.

"No, Jaime, it's not like that."

"Good, you can't put Lo' in that position Dare."

"I wouldn't, I promise. She means more to me than a silly side fling. I just, I can't do this with her. I just wish I hadn't have come. Then everything would be how it should be." Darren placed his head in his hands

"I know, its ok Darren." Jaime lent forward embracing Darren in a tight hug. "It will be ok; we just need to sort this out."

"Thanks Jaime, come on, how about I make us some coffee; we could be up for a while." Darren said walking over to the kitchen area.

Time passed slowly that night, Darren and Jaime sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity yet in reality, was only an hour. Darren fidgeted nervously in his chair, the knot in his stomach becoming tighter with every passing minute that Lauren didn't burst through the door of the apartment.

"Jaime, it's one o'clock. We need to go find her." Darren stood up and started pacing the kitchen. "She could be anywhere. What if she's hurt? What if she is alone and scared? Jaime, it will all be my fault because I am a jackass and didn't do things right!"

"Calm down, we have to be sensible here. Let's call Julia." Darren jolted up and grabbing his phone, he dialed Julia's number. A husky voice came from the other line.

"Hello… fuck, Julia this is your phone, wake up." Joe Walkers voice sounded.

"Who is it? It's one o'clock in the morning, can't they wait." Julia groaned through the phone line.

"It's Darren, and no I can't wait for you to finish screwing your boyfriend." An awkward silence filled Julia's end of the call. Darren was sure her face must have turned a deep scarlet color, but in this point in time, he couldn't care less. "Jules, have you heard anything from Lauren."

"What? What do you mean? Lauren's at home. Isn't she? What's wrong Darren? What did you do?"

"Jesus Julia, take a breath!"

"Where is she Darren?!" Julia said sternly.

"If I knew that, I wouldn't be calling you. She disappeared about an hour ago. She was mad. Do you have any idea where she could be?" Julia sighed before responding.

"The park." Julia muttered.

"What?"

"The park, it's where we used to go when we were sad, or having boy troubles. We used to go there and talk when we first moved in. If she isn't there, I have no idea. Do you want me to check?"

"No, thanks Julia, we've got this. Thanks. Go back to bed." Darren said relieved.

"You sure?" Julia sounded unconvinced.

"Yeah, it's fine. See you later."

"I hadn't even thought of the park, it's almost two, it must be freezing out." Jaime said looking down.

"I had better go find her, thanks for everything Jaime."

"It's about a 15 minute walk, are you sure you don't want me to drive you?"

"No, this is something I have to do alone" he gave a Jaime a grim smile before pulling on his hoodie.

"Call me if anything happens, ok?"

"Sure Jaime."

* * *

"Yeah, one bottle vodka thanks." Lauren said to the overly large shaggy man behind the counter of the liquor store.

"I will just need to see some ID for that thanks." He replied gruffly. Lauren's jaw dropped. _'Are you fucking kidding me, I'm twenty freaking four.'_

"Fine." She replied harshly, pulling her ID from her back pocket. "You know what? Make it two."

"Bad night eh?" a tall man with a tattooed arm and straight brown hair questioned from behind her.

"You can say that again." Lauren replied dully, grabbing her drinks before departing the store.

"Hey, wait up, maybe we can talk, you look like you need to talk." The man from the store jogged up beside her.

"Look, I'm really sorry; I just need to be alone." Lauren replied.

"Yeah, yeah. I can take a hint. Maybe another time?" He said holding out a slip of paper with his number on it." Lauren gave him a small smile. _'Go on Lauren. What's the harm in accepting a number?' _she thought to herself.

"Ok, yeah, thanks." She said stuffing the paper into her pocket.

"My name is Cain by the way, Cain Millet." He said holding out his hand.

"Lauren," she replied "I'm Lauren."

"Well, it was nice to meet you Lauren. I hope I hear from you soon." He gave her a small smirk before turning around and hailing a taxi.

The wind had picked up and Lauren only just realized how cold she was. She twisted off the cap to her first bottle of Vodka, taking a long swig. Instantly, the alcoholic warmth swept over her. Lauren let he mind remained dazed and unfocused, whilst her legs took her to her unknown destination. It was dark away from the city center, with minimal street lights highlighting the path that her legs aimlessly followed. Half a bottle of Vodka later and what seemed like endless walking, Lauren stopped. She looked out at her destination.

_'The park,' _she pondered _'I'm at our park._' She smiled slightly to herself, remembering all the conversations Julia and her had shared on the swings in front of her. Taking another swig, Lauren slumped into the old child's swing which still fit her perfectly. A wave of dizziness hit Lauren. She was so small and light that it didn't take much for her to become horrendously drunk, and she had downed too much too quickly. Her mind quickly became clouded but she continued to drink anyways, letting the breeze move her hair through the air.

_'Lauren, what the hell were you thinking?_' She thought to herself through another harsh drink of the intense alcohol. _'You believed them, both of them. They deceived you but you were stupid enough to buy their shit. Maybe Mike is right, maybe you are just a whore. I mean guys just take advantage of you, and just fall for all their lies, all their fake promises.' _Anger and regret boiled inside Lauren becoming more intense with every swig of Vodka. _'Just give up Lauren. You're obviously not worth it. Mike certainly doesn't think so. Darren, Darren lied to you Lauren.'_ Sadness overtook her as she let go of everything that was building up inside of her. Tears welled up in her eyes and silently poured down her face. She sat there, debating with herself, her arm entwined around the chain of the swing. She closed her eyes and listened to her hot breath against the soft cold wind.

A hand rested on her shoulder and she jumped but didn't move. Her heart raced as she turned around to see the culprit. Her eyes rested upon a sad looking boy with black curls and deep hazel eyes.

"Lo', I am so sorry. I tried to protect you but I only made it worse. Lauren, I'm not asking you to forgive me but please, sweetie, please come home." Darren begged kneeling down so he was looking into the eyes of a dejected Lauren. His eyes traveled down to the ground next to the swing.

"Lauren, Lauren! Fuck! How much have you been drinking?" He pulled an untouched bottle of liquor out of the paper bag. He sighed, relieved, until he noticed the empty bottle on the other side of the small girl on the swing. _'Shit.'_

"Lauren, you're tiny, you can't hold your liquor! How the hell do you expect to keep that down? Lauren, we need to get you home." Lauren's eyes were unfocused and she held a dazed expression on her face.

"Come on Lo'." He said grabbing hold of her wrist. Suddenly Lauren let out a scared wail pulling her wrist out of his grasp. Darren looked at her and realized immediately that the deep purple bands of bruising around her wrists were as evident as ever. This seemed to have snapped Lauren out of her drunken stupor.

"I'm not going anywhere with you Darren Criss." She growled at him with a piercing glare whilst attempting to stand up. However, she had no control over her own body due to the amount of alcohol raging through her system. Immediately unbalanced, she fell to the floor.

"Lauren please, come on, you're drunk." Darren pleaded racing towards her lifting her up by her non committed arms. Lauren went ridged like a child chucking a tantrum, refusing to move from her spot.

"Noooooo!" Lauren wailed. "I don't want to go anywhere."

"Lauren, if you refuse to co-operate, we will have to do this the hard way!" he said sternly to a drunken Lauren who was balling her eyes out.

"No. It's my life Darren, so get out of it! Just leave."

"Fine," Darren simply stated. "but you're coming with me." He picked her up as she kicked and screamed, thrashing her tiny fists into the flesh of his back. He chucked her over his shoulder and she screamed not a playful scream as he was so used to in the past, but instead a fearful hateful scream making him feel as if he was attacking her.

"Darren! Darren! Put me down now! I hate you! Leave me alone!" She screeched, continuing to beat on his back, leaving small bruises with every impact. Tears fell down Darren's face. It killed him to hear Lauren, who he always vowed to protect, sound so hurt and because of his actions.

It didn't take long before the thrashing and kicking ceased. Darren readjusted Lauren in his arms, so he was carrying her the way a newlywed would his bride, except Lauren was completely unconscious. Her hair floated in the sharp cold breeze. Her head lolled around with every step over one of Darren's arms whilst her legs dangled loosely over the other. The remnants of Lauren's makeup was smeared down her face showing how wounded she was from the nights events. Every time Darren looked down at the wounded child in his arm, his breath caught. He bit his lip to avoid crying again as he had already done so much this never ending night.

* * *

It was three in the morning and Darren was wondering how he ended up carrying a tiny passed out Lauren back to her apartment. A light sleet like rain was beginning to fall and the night had taken a turn for the worst. _'I should have never come to visit' _Darren thought _'If I hadn't have come, none of this would have happened' _His vision had clouded in his left eye and it felt as if his eye was turning into a large growth as it had swollen to the size of a golf ball. _'Oh Lo', I am so sorry' _Darren thought looking up into the stars. Here and now, things could not be any worse.

* * *

**Annnnnddd we are back to the beginning of the Here and Now scene! P.s - I changed all of the weird Australian spelling to the weird American spelling to reduce confusion levels! Hope that is all good! Please leave a review, seriously, it makes my day!**

**Love you all and signing off xx PEACE OUT :P (oh and G'DAY MATEY!) note: no one actually says that in Australia, I'm just different ;)**


	5. Lips

**Hey Hey Hey! Well, hello there Ol' gillybadgers and wingnuggets. It is I! Yeah, I'm over tired so I'm speaking in rather a ridiculous manner. Don't worry, I don't think it shows in the story. However, I will say I personally really enjoyed writing the end bit of chapter. Oh and I want to know if my audience likes a little smut, nothing much. There isn't any in this chapter really but I am thinking ahead. Well, your support still overwhelms me. Seriously, a few days ago I thought I would embarrass myself if I dared put any of my writing up, but people have really responded to it! It really means the world! ISaidNoToStatusQuo and Drarrylicious, my two main reviewers. You two brighten up my day with every message! Your constant support is really appreciated!**

**To everyone else reading my story. Please review. I don't bite and I really love to hear you opinions and point of view. Give it a try eh? For a true blue Aussie like meself ;) ahhh even if you don't review, thanks so much for reading! Really, thank you.**

**Well enjoy this next chapter of 'How I Live Now'. I wanted to make this another long chapter however, I like where it finishes so sorrrryyyy :( ohswell, if you have any issues or ideas let me know! Ahh love you all.**

**Yours Truly,**

**An Australian Starkid**

* * *

Chapter 5: Lips

Lauren's body, though extremely light, was like a lead weight on Darren's heart as he climbed the final stair into Lauren's apartment. Jaime had fallen asleep on the couch after an attempt to stay up to confirm Lauren was home safe. Darren moved past her and into the hall, turning left at the end to enter Lauren's bedroom. He remembered all the memories they had shared within these pale blue walls; the music sessions, the late night talks, the times they lay on her bed in silence just enjoying each other's presence. Slowly, he lowered her onto her bed, took off her shoes and wiped her face free of the last traces of makeup with a damp cloth. He pulled the duvet up over Lauren, tucking her in and protecting her from the cold. Even when asleep, Lauren held a natural beauty about her; the way her hair fell, the slight pink that was always present in her cheeks, she seemed so fragile, so delicate. Darren leaned forward, brushing her silk like hair from her face and before leaving, he placed his lips gently on her cheek.

"Goodnight, Lo'." Darren whispered switching off her bedroom light. He moved back into the living room to find Jaime sitting wide awake on the couch. Darren sighed and shook his head making his way towards her. She stood up quickly and pulled him into an unexpected hug.

"Darren, it will be ok, she just needs to cool down. She will realize in the morning that she can't blame you."

"She was screaming Jai, she sounded so frightened. I can't believe I made her so distraught. She just kept yelling at me, and hitting me viciously as if I was a predator. I hurt her Jai."

"Come on Dare, you need some rest. Do you want my bed?" Jaime asked rubbing small comforting circles on his back.

"No. Can I sleep on the couch though? I don't really have anywhere to stay… I was meant to go home in a few hours…"

"Of course you can. No doubt you will be up before Lauren anyways; she's going to have a stiff hangover. You can decide what you're going to what you're going to do then." Darren gave Jaime a small smile as she went to retrieve a spare blanket and pillow from her room.

"Night Darren"

"Night Jai, thanks so much for everything." Jaime gave Darren a small smile before turning down the hall and switching off the last lights. It didn't take long for Darren to realize there was no way he was falling asleep; his mind was whirling giving him horrendous flashbacks of the past few hours. Instead, he lay there on the couch, staring up blankly at the ceiling, considering the events that tonight had shown. He couldn't stop thinking about how frightened and angry he had made Lauren. It tortured him, possessing his mind, making every minute he lay there feel like an eternity. He struggled with himself, pleading for the sun to rise until his prayers were finally answered and the early glimpses of sunlight made their way through the gaps in the curtain.

* * *

Lauren woke to see bright sunlight streaming through her window and onto her face. She groaned internally, burying her face into her pillow. Suddenly, she realised how heavy her head felt as it began to pound rhythmically. _'Shit' _Lauren cussed to herself. _'What the hell happened last night?'_ The memories began to flood her mind, Darren coming home, the fight with Michael, Darren protecting her, the couch… the kiss… the regret… the fight… Mike cheating, Darren lying.

The influx of thought was too much for her to take in. She began hyperventilating, taking short sharp breaths and sitting up quickly, stabilizing herself on the wooden backboard of her bed. The memories began to blur, becoming hazy and confused. _"There was a boy with black hair, and then there was the park, I was at the park. I was alone and… ugh there was so much alcohol. Lauren you idiot! Why the hell did you drink that much? No wonder your head fucking hurts.'_ She heard Darren's voice in her head, full of fear and concern. _"Lauren! Lauren, Fuck! How much have you been drinking? Come on we need to get you home."_

_'But then… then Darren grabbed me, he made me… frightened and upset?' _Her mind was whirling, trying to distinguish imagination from reality however, they seemed to collide and mull into one big disaster. _'I was screaming and crying. I was so…mad.' _Lauren became confused. _'Then, I blacked out but… there is something else.'_ A thought was niggling away at Lauren's mind. _'He put me to bed, and kissed my cheek. After all that, he still…'_

"He still protected me…" Lauren said softly. _'Jesus Lauren. You better not have screwed up the best thing you had going in your life. Darren loves you, he is like a brother to you.' _She was so frustrated with herself, devastated at the thought she may have just lost the one person who had always been there for her.

Head still pounding, Lauren stiffly pulled herself out of bed. A wave of pain hit her, forcing her to sit back down. Every muscle ached, her feet were heavy and her mind was clouded. Although hesitant, Lauren commanded herself to move. Slowly, she got up. Realizing how much she smelled of alcohol and that she was in the same clothes that she wore when she left Mike's place in the day before, she decided a shower was necessary. She laid out just a simple pair of denim shorts that stopped midway down her thigh although unlike the ones she was currently wearing, these rested on her hips. She went back over to her wardrobe, pulling out a purple loose top that fell off one shoulder slightly as she wore it. She quickly showered, and when turning off the water, she heard several voices from the kitchen; Jaime, Julia and Darren. Lauren groaned, her head felt slightly better but it still ached from all of the night's complications. Slipping into her clothes, she shuffled slowly and reserved into the kitchen.

"Morning sweetie," Jaime said quietly to her passing a mug of steaming hot coffee in her direction. Julia gave her a small smile before signalling to Jaime.

"Hey, we are just heading out. Weren't we Jai?"

Huh? Oh yeah, we were."

"Maybe I could come?" Lauren asked knowing what the answer would be before she even finished speaking.

"No honey, you should stay here until you recover from the full effects of that liquor you had last night." _'Great,' _Lauren thought, _'Darren's obviously told them everything'. _She had avoided eye contact with him thus far yet, that would be impossible once the girls had left, knowing full well that was the reasoning for their sudden departure. Julia and Jaime passed a smile in her direction before closing the door behind them.

Lauren looked straight up to see Darren staring pleadingly at her from across the kitchen. She flicked her eyes straight back down floor blushing in embarrassment.

"Look, Lauren, before you say anything, I am so sorry." Darren said starting toward her. "That is not how I planned last night at all. I fucked up; I really don't expect you to forgive me…" Lauren quickly interrupted.

"Stop Darren, just stop." Lauren held up her hands taking a few small steps backward. Darren stopped moving towards her and looked at the ground disappointedly. Lauren sighed. "Darren, you shouldn't have lied to me…" Darren broke in over the top of her.

"I know Lauren, I know, I would take it back in an instant if I could…"

"Darren, Darren! Just shut up for a second ok?" Lauren said loudly. Darren stopped and looked her in the eye. "Darren, I overreacted ok? I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I just found out the two people who I thought I could trust were lying to me every time I was with them. It was overwhelming. I really should have been thanking you Dare. You protected me; it's all you have ever tried to do." Lauren took a step towards a shocked Darren.

"But Lauren…"

"No but's Darren. Can we please just forget about it and move on." Darren took two quick steps towards Lauren and pulled her into a tight embrace. It took a moment for Lauren to wrap her arms around Darren's back and relax into his shoulder.

"Lauren, I want you to…no. I need you to understand Lo. None of this was your fault. None of it. Lauren you are beautiful, you make everyone in the room look only at you. Your laugh and your smile is enough to make guys fall at your feet. You are perfect in every way. He doesn't deserve you, no one will ever deserve you Lauren Lopez. I don't want you to ever doubt that, ok?" Darren had pulled back slightly with his arms still around her, looking straight down into her big dark eyes.

_'Lauren. Lauren snap out of it! Say something. He is gorgeous and perfect but you can't tell him that. You can't tell him you love the way his mouth forms into a cheeky grin when he is up to something. You can't say that love the way his curly dark hair falls in his eyes when it grows a little too long. Jesus Lauren, You love everything about him. He has always been there for you; he is your best friend. But you need to stop thinking about it! He is like a brother to you, he has his own life back in LA, so Lauren please just say something!' _Lauren debated internally with herself all the while looking back up into Darren's safe hazel eyes.

"Lauren?" Darren questioned.

"Kiss me." _'Shit Lauren. Don't say that! Fuck! Out of all the things you could have said…' _However, she didn't finish that next thought as a pair of lips came crashing down onto hers.

* * *

**Well, well, well! What did you think! Seriously, let me know. I'M DESPERATE hehe. Leave me a note ;)**

**Slide me some skin, homeskillet**

**Signing off xx Moldyworts Voldemort( what am I on about) PS IM NOT ON CRACK I AM LITERALLY RUNNING ON 4 hours of sleep for like 3 days blehhhhhhhhh! LOVE YOU!**


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